Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Oh Facebook

You make make me hate people on a regular basis.

What started as me being happy to see an unexpected image from a member of our extended family turned into my feeling upset but then trying to express myself honestly and I thought you might want to read it and it may give someone a bit of perspective. If it doesnt I dont want to know and you can keep your bogus shit to yourself.

  That was the image I shared. I woke up to a comment Ed's aunt or uncle left I only saw "abortion", "300,000" and "killing babies" and deleted it immediately and made the image private before I could get too upset.
  Later on after I got into an argument on the page of the actual image with a younger girl. I got really pissed! Why a young girl in this day and age would actively try to limit her rights as a human being is beyond me. I usually hate confrontation, talking about politics, i.e anything that could make me mad. I prefer to be happy. I told her I hope she never makes a mistake while she's young, gets pregnant after being raped or has a life threatening pregnancy. I felt better after that, we all need to be a little blunt and snarky at some point. Anyway it led me to post this status update:

"Jeeze people make me sick! and just so I'm not "vague booking". If you are anti pro choice just delete me please. I dont want to hear your opinions. Take your christ like attitude somewhere else <--sarcasm."

That was followed by a very nice and understanding comment from a facebook friend:

The farther along my pregnancy gets, the more pro-choice I get. I love my son so much, that I feel no one who doesn't want to have a child should be forced to carry one to term, nor should anyone be forced to be born into a world where they are unwanted or doomed to suffer for any reason at all

Then I just felt like sharing a little bit:

 I agree 100% When I was pregnant it was well and good for people to look down on me and judge me but I dont think any of them would have helped me raise a child. I feel like I owe a lot of what I have to Planned Parenthood because of my right to choose what I do with my life, that includes Ed's life too. I highly doubt we would be together or that he would have achieved all he has if we were parents at 15 & 19. aside from all of the other reasons that the argument ticks me off just the simple fact that anyone cares what anyone else does with their life, what they do with their body who they love,etc. life is hard enough! pay attention to your own...ya know?

I think a lot people who are anti pro choice dont stop and think how hard it is to actually make that decision. I think it's very rare that anyone makes the decision lightly if they are of sound mind. My life would have been extremely hard if i had a child, but not having it came with a whole other ball of wax, a depression that lasted on and off for 4 years, the fact that i'm 27 and the word abortion makes me feel sick still, that some assholes can ruin my day and hurt a very sensitive place in me with one stupid comment. Anyway I try to be as honest as I can but some people are just...human? I once was was having a heartfelt conversation with a girl who said she had to have an abortion because her baby's ultrsound showed it had no head, I tired to be comforting and shared my experience that I was still deeply in, she looked at me and said,"but i wanted my baby"...that hurt so much. i wanted my baby too, I still do but i wasnt and am still not ready. Years later I found out the reason her baby didnt have a head was because she was doing drugs... I'm the monster? blah

Anyways, that's how my nights gone. I'm so happy I'm at a place where I can talk about these things and not feel ruined. there was a time where I felt like my life wouldn't start until I had a baby, a strange very strong mental and biological feeling. I am so happy that we have waited, that if we do decide to have a child it will get my very all that I have to give. They will have a mother and a father, a home, nutritious food, and all the time and attention they need from us. Probably a really goofy name too! but we really don't know yet, and I think that's good. Its a HUGE decision the hugest! too many people take being a parent too lightly maybe they dont realize they have a choice?

So that's how I feel about that. Please dont leave a comment if you disagree with me I've had enough of that!